"He's pretty pissed because you won't share your mochas with him. That's right--his silence isn't that he's sexually confused--it's all about the coffee, man. Give him a Grande Cafe Mocha..."
The previous quote comes from a reply to my previous "Name That Wildcat" entry. I must admit, Jess' idea sounded like it had merit, so I said... What the heck? Let's get this cat a cafe mocha. A trip to the bookstore might even do him some good. Oh, but the best laid plans of mice and wildcats...
Everything started off just fine. We get to the store, and I made sure we went straight for the cafe. Now, I did consider going to a different Barnes & Noble, after all, this one is where my wife works. But how much trouble could one little wildcat cause?
This was my wildcat's first trip to a cafe, so you can imagine how excited he was. The sight of all that coffee and sugar-filled pastries nearly sent the cat into convulsions. No seizure, though. Instead he went running wild throughout the cafe, and the staff had to help me catch him.
I wasn't too upset with him by this point. After all, it was his first time, and he's still a young wildcat. Can't expect him to just curl up and yawn at his age, now can I? So I just assumed we'd had our little "hiccup" for this trip and ordered his drink. Being a frequent visitor to the cafe, I should have realized what happened next wouldn't settle well with my wildcat's impatient nature.
Ahem... Well, now that we finally had our drinks, things calmed down for a little bit. Turns out my wildcat really liked the whip cream in his drink after all. I suppose I'll have to bring him back so he can apologize to the guy who made his drink... well, once the guy gets out of the hospital. I'd say more, but the stipulations in the lawsuit prevent me from saying more.
Our drinks were still too hot to drink right away, so I decided to take my wildcat for a stroll through the bookstore. Unfortunately, I got sidetracked by the tower of Robert Jordan's latest novel, Knife of Dreams. "Hmmm... That one in the middle of the stack looks like a good copy."
While I was busy cleaning up the fallen pile of Robert Jordan's books, my wildcat found... other things to occupy his time. Bad kitty. That is NOT what those books are meant for! Bad kitty! On the bright side, I now know my wildcat has a thing for Russian Blues, so I'll never make the mistake of leaving him alone with one of those.
My wildcat was ordered to find something more appropriate to read, and I was so pleased when I saw what he'd found. He quickly closed the book when I found him looking at a book inspired by the film "March of the Penguins."
I assured him there was no need to be embarrassed just because he found a good, family-friendly novel entertaining. "Yes, yes... It's okay," I told him. "You can read it. Hey, wait a minute. Why isn't that book sitting right?
"Oh, my God in Heaven! Sex Kittens?!? This is KITTY PORN! 'EXPLICIT CONTENT!?!' Oh... BAD wildcat! Bad, bad, BAD wildcat!"
Needless to say, my wildcat's "Cafe Mocha Adventure" ended right there. maybe finding a good family-friendly name will curb these bad tendencies of his. Of course, that's all up to you people. Already plenty of good suggestions, and I can tell it won't be easy to pick... but if you've got anymore ideas, feel free to post them here or to the previous "Name That Wildcat" entries. I'll keep taking suggestions until Monday, November 28th.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a young wildcat to punish. Bad, bad, BAD wildcat!